Surrounded By Hyenas

"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the J-hovah El-him He it is that does go with you; He will not fail you, nor forsake you."

~ Deuteronomy 31:6

As believers in G-d we often picture ourselves as coming under attack when we meet resistance in our walk with the L-rd. We accredit this challenge to our faith to an enemy that is relentless in its attempts to lay siege to us personally. And though there might be some truth to this natural reaction there may also be more to the battles we face than we first realize. 

If we are truly living as G-d commands us to there will certainly be obstacles to overcome in our own lives. Habits that we form and the ways we might desire to conduct ourselves may be contradictory to the habits and lifestyle G-d's commandments lay out for us. Yet rarely do we consider this a part of some exterior force attempting to bombard us. It is mainly when we step outside our own walk with the L-rd that the enemy appears to attack. 

And that is where our liberation from sin begins to threaten the captivity of others. Once we begin to grow beyond our own personal relationship with G-d and begin to influence others (either directly or indirectly) we step out onto a field of battle. Most of the time, we do so without really knowing that we are. 

The enemy has laid claim to the very ground upon which we stand. Even more importantly it has claimed the lives of all that walk upon the earth for its own devious intentions. Just as it has been made miserable it too intends to inflict the same wretched bareness upon the ground and all living upon it. By doing so the enemy seeks to destroy the souls of its victims through the current captivity and eventually the eternal separation of that soul from G-d.

When the followers of G-d step out onto this territory they become invaders. Those who intentionally decide to stay become occupiers. And those who move further out into the enemies territory become conquerors. All of which must be dealt with. Their advance must be stopped and the occupation must be ended. For this is an enemy that can not and will not give an inch let alone bear to loose a captive soul. 

During the adolescence of a male lion the young male reaches a point where it must move on. The desire to claim new territory is inherit in the young lion. But most of all, the young male needs a pride... he needs an army of souls. 

There are only two ways a young lion can achieve the goal of forming a pride. He can either challenge and kill an existing male lion who has his own pride. Or he can set out and find a start a new one of his own. 

The second way of forming a pride is hard. A lion without a pride is doomed to starvation or at best a life on the brink of it. Hyenas and jackals rarely challenge a pride of lions openly and aggressively. Yet a lone lion is fair game even for the lowest of predators. The lone lion can't defend itself effectively. He is simply a loose end that nature finds a way to finish off. 

And yet G-d calls his followers to set out into the enemy's territory and form one pride after another. At times he even calls upon us to do so even when we feel like lone lions. Yet even as it appears the odds are stacked against us and the enemy is closing in from every angle, G-d prepares the field and snatches us from the jaws of defeat only to hand us the victory. 

These are the times when we shouldn't look at ourselves as the victims of siege but rather the aggressors routing the defenders and claiming new ground. For even when we least expect it, when we think that nobody is looking, we are often liberating the lives of fellow captives. By living as G-d has directed us to, we can set others free from the suffering to which we too were once bound. 

"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them has the light shined."

~ Isaiah 9:2

The Toothless Lion

"For when for the time you ought to be teachers, you have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of G-d; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.

"For every one that uses milk is unskillful in the word of the righteousness: for he is as a babe.

"But strong meat belongs to them that are full of age, even those who by reason of use have the senses exercised to discern both good and evil."

~ Hebrews 5:12-14

When we first start our journey in our faith the L-rd describes us as babes, mere infants, that He wishes to raise up on H-s words and wisdom. In this aspect we are nurtured by our G-d on H-s milk so that one day we might mature into the mighty warriors he created us to be. This is a phase in our journey that is precious and vital to our spiritual well-being. It is a bonding period that binds our soul to the very heart of G-d. But it was never meant to last forever. 

At some point we are meant to grow into the lions G-d has shaped us into. Our manes grow out, our muscles are made strong, and our teeth appear. All of this is made possible by the milk of G-d's word. Yet none of these aspects of maturity can be sustained by milk alone. 

Like lions, we go through the phase of "cutting our teeth". We make mistakes and get to anxious to move onto the meat. At times we are just to eager and hit the ground running in whichever given direction. And for the most part, these mishaps are easily corrected and we get back on course and follow in our L-rd's footsteps once again. 

But for some of us these little errors in judgement are enough to make them turn away from the next phase or leave their faith all together. When it comes time to use their teeth they simply reject the premiss all together. For others the very idea of moving on from the milk phase is just too great a step for them to take. Instead of maturing in their faith they seem more content to stay an infant for the rest of time. In either case the end result is always the same. 

Starvation. 

A lion without its teeth is doomed. Without the ability to accept ourselves for what G-d has made us and is shaping us into leaves us toothless. And in our spiritual lives there is no such thing as stagnation. There is only growth and starvation. 

The soul of man was made to seek after its Cr-ator. To do this it has to be able to grow beyond simply knowing that G-d exist. It needs to know the love of G-d. And after that it yearns to know every other aspect of G-d. If it is cut off from learning, from growing, it starts to retreat. The passion our souls naturally posses for G-d mirrors the passion G-d posses for us. 

Once we learn to accept the challenges laid before us and learn to accept both our failures and defeats, we learn what it means to cut our teeth. From that point on the meat of G-d is our persistent "hunt" for H-m... our seeking after H-s presence, H-s word, and H-s heart. Once we learn how to do this we learn what it means to truly never be 'hungry' again. 

"The young lions do lack, and suffer from hunger: but they that seek the J-hovah shall not want any good thing."

~ Psalm 34:10

Broken Arrow

"The J-hovah shall cause your enemies that rise up against you to be smitten before your face; they shall come out against you one way, and flee before you seven ways."

~ Deuteronomy 28:7

The Blessing of Obedience

I was once told by a very close friend that I'm a lot like a dog on a short leash, just tugging at the slack waiting for the M-ster to release H-s grip. At first that sounded rather nice. But the more I thought about it... well that was when the truth of the matter came to the surface. 

A hunting dog is eager to please the hunter. It wants more than anything to be able to let out that howl that signals his master to the object of his owner's fixation. Yet in this sense of duty there comes a time when even the best dog trees the wrong prey or corners an animal bigger and meaner than he alone can hold. While the dog wants to be obedient, even the best intentions can lead the dog astray. 

That is why I had to take a moment and think about what it really meant to be that hound tugging and jerking at my leash. Sure it was nice to think of myself as all those things that seem masculine and powerful... tenacity, bravery, fierce, bold, dedicated... It was another thing to have to think of myself as the less pleasant aspects of being that same animal... immature, over eager, rebellious, and at times... disobedient.

Once the dog's leash is dropped the hound takes up the hunt. Like a lightning bolt, the dog springs forth with his nose to the air and his muscles fueled by anticipation. That is what it often feels like when we set out to fulfill the commandments our G-d has laid out of us. We are so eager to fulfill our task... our mission... our job. 

Whenever and wherever the faithful set out to take to the field so as to please their master another beast rises up to meet them. The enemy of our G-d claims the soil, the land, and all that dwells upon it. It is only natural to them that they should defend it, and defend it mercilessly. But when we set out like the hound to the hunt we are often not even thinking about this. Instead we take off almost blind to the reality of what we are doing. We don't see the battle, we don't think about the war... we just want to complete our task.

In the field we meet them. Upon the field we are engaged in ways that we never expect. We are turned from the hounds of the hunt to the dogs of war. And in an instant we find ourselves surrounded. For the faithful this is a reality that is often overlooked by the young, the immature, the bold and brazen followers of a faith they have not yet fully come to understand. 

It is in this moment that we make decisions that will either win or lose the day. It is in the first moments of battle that we either decide to take up the role of conquers or simply hold the line. Once this moment has passed we can no longer decide to disengage or break off the chase. Once we have taken to the field there is no retreat. 

One decision seems to prevail more often than not. This is the decision to muscle our way through the fight. We take up our own shields and rely upon our own muscle. We don't realize that the enemy is a liar and hides from us the reality of what we are up against. When we advance upon our own might we are lured into a fight we alone can not win. By digging our own foxholes we often dig our own graves. 

We were never meant to fight alone. This decision is disobedient. It is a decision to chase after a scent that we were not sent out after. It is the lure that leads us astray. It is the best defense the enemy has.

"The J-hovah shall cause you to be smitten before your enemies; you shall go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them; and shall be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth."

~ Deuteronomy 28:25

The Results of Disobedience 

Cut off, surrounded... 

In the Torah we are reminded that we do not fight against flesh and blood. We are told that we fight against the spirit of evil and the presence of darkness all around us. We are meant to be light onto the world. So when we attempt to take the L-ght out into the darkness it would seem natural that the darkness would flee before It. However when we go out unprepared or for our own glory we often find that the darkness is ready to fight back. 

But there is a way to find our way back to the L-ght without showing our backs to the enemy. There is a way off the battle field.

The immature dog will give a call that he has cornered his prey when he has not. The trained hunter will not respond till the dog has completed his job however. There is a difference in our tone when we are out doing the task G-d has given us and when we are simply pretending. Yet when the dog gives out a call for help, when the dog finally admits that he isn't able to fight the beast he has encountered, the M-ster always comes running. 

Once engaged the enemy will not relent. It is a merciless foe that knows our weaknesses and exploits them at every opportunity. The amazing part is just how long we are willing to fight these attacks all by ourselves before we are finally pushed to the point where we simply surrender. 

Some hunting dogs will give the call for help sooner than others. Some will come face to face with the meanest lion and still not back down. And tragically, some will never call for help.

All we have to do when we find ourselves here is fall down and surrender. Not to our enemy. Not the evil we have encountered. But to the Creat-r of life, the M-ster that sent us out to the field to work. We simply have to be prepared to admit when we are out matched and especially when we have gone off course. It is in these moments that G-d wants to teach us things we may never have learned without the fight... without the thrill of the hunt. After all, G-d pursues us far more eagerly as we pursue H-m. And He never wants us to be left upon the field alone and cut off. 

The greatest sense of obedience is the willingness to admit that we need H-m. We were always meant to need the warmth of the love our Abba bears for us. Even when the leash feels like it has been dropped, even when the thrill of the hunt has passed, we will always need H-s guidance... H-s mercy... H-s love.

From Hunter To The Hunted

"It is the L-rd who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

~ Deuteronomy 31:8

Often in life it feels like there are more enemies than friends. And to add to the already stressful situations we often face our friends can feel a bit like enemies. So much so in fact that we even have common sayings expressing such sentiment. It is almost enough to make even the strongest of us just decide to toss in the towel and walk away. 

For the faithful it can be even worse when we set out to follow our faith on a daily basis. We tend to surround ourselves with those of a similar mindset. Yet we are often drawn out of our comfort zones and forced into situations that rapidly become combative. And in the blink of an eye we find ourselves acting out like a scared animal... taking swipes at whomever or whatever we reach out toward. 

It is easy for us to look back on situations like these when they have passed us by. We can see the dogs for what they are. And we can see ourselves for what we had become. 

Most of the time this is the hardest part of emulating the spirit of G-d and how He would have us act. This is the part where we have to realize that we aren't always the lion we would like to imagine. This is where we have to see the fearful beast that takes over when we can't give up the fight... give up the power. 

I myself am quick to show my teeth, so to speak. Like the lion, I bristle my hair and growl. And with the noble beast's pride, I rarely back away from a fight. Its this tenacity that allows me to do the work I feel I have been given. Its this spirit that gives me the strength to deal with the work I do on Alder's Ledge (link is somewhere here on this blog). 

The down side to this is the tendency to bite and ask questions later. 

Looking back it is easy to identify when that first blow was landed. You can almost spot the very moment you make contact with the wrong person. And yet not matter how hard you wish you hadn't, you can see in that very instant when you turn a friend into a foe. Those are the moments you wish you could take back. Those are the words, the actions, and the emotions you wish you could have just had one more second to think about before they occurred. 

But the moment passes. The fight usually subsides. And the wounds often heal. 

The reason this is the hardest part of living in the way G-d has shown to us is that this is the part where we lean upon H-m. 

Given the chance to run away we often do just that. Other times we take the opportunity to open old wounds and simply fight back some more. These are such natural reactions to us that we even identify it as a the "fight or flight" response. Yet G-d calls upon us to do the most unnatural of things instead. 

Surrender. 

G-d tells us that if we surrender our own will to fight of our own strength He will provide for us and make our way in a path of H-s choosing. All we have to do is give up the power and relent the battle to H-m. This is a response that calls for a greater level of trust in H-m rather than the hope that He will forgive us later. It calls upon us to have faith that G-d will deliver justice in the end. It calls upon us to turn onto G-d what is H-s to begin with. 

The battles we often face in life are trivial. The battles we face in our spiritual life however can have ramifications of which we have no ability to fully understand. The irony is that more often than not we choose to throw in the towel and offer a few muttered words to G-d over the trivial while bullheadedly refusing to give up upon the most significant battles we face. This is how we are often lured into situations where we almost instantly go from being the hunter to being the hunted. 

As believers in G-d we are cast into a struggle not our own. We are made to fight when it is least convenient and made to stand down when we would rather not. Our enemies already know that. That is why the lure is set in the first place. That is why it is used over and over again. 

When we take to showing our teeth and preparing to fight we should readily seek G-d. Through H-s guidance we can more easily identify when the battle is of our will or of H-s. If we seek H-m first we can do less looking back upon mistakes and spend more time praising H-s name.

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

~ Hebrews 4:16

The Wandering Lion

 
"The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion."

~ Proverbs 28:1

Going through my daily life it is hard at times to remember just how and for what purpose G-d has made me. At times I often do feel like a lion, if all be it one caged in a circus just waiting to escape. My soul seems to pace back and forth within its confines waiting to be set free. Like the panting lions staring back from between the bars, my heart hungers for what is on the other side. 

This need to be free is the most natural of desires mankind has. It is the state of man to pursue his liberties without relenting. We were made with this hunger that even the largest of enclosures can not subdue. For even in the best and most well kept cages we still linger at the gate. Our hearts still seek what is kept just beyond our reach. 

In religion of any form this natural inclination is almost immediately put into conflict with our understanding of G-d's will. Whether we are given 10 commandments or 613, a part of our being seeks to reach beyond those confines and test the bars which hold us in. For some of us, perhaps, just knowing the limits set for us is enough to accept our perceived captivity. For others it becomes a game of sorts to see just how far over the line we can step before having to hop back over to the other side.

This is where I have found it difficult to accept myself as a lion in captivity but rather a wandering "lion amongst the beasts of the forest" (Micah 5:8). I know my G-d made me free from my first breath. I follow H-s commandments as a form of praise and thankfulness for all G-d has bestowed upon me. 

And yet far to often that is how I see my fellow believers viewing their faith. As though the word of the L-rd is a barrier... a prison of their own making. And for all their roaring and all their saber rattling, they are just lions pacing the lengths of their cage. 

Life in of itself has a way of making us feel as though we are that lion trapped and confined. Whether it be to our job, our responsibilities, or those things we would rather keep secret. Our day to day life has a way of shackling us and tossing us behind rusted bars. 

Our faith should not. 

G-d has made each of us capable of being mighty lions. We were created in H-s image. We were made to display H-s love, mercy, compassion, justice, and yes... even his anger. We were not meant to flee before the presence of our enemy but rather to stand firm like the noble beasts we are. 

When faced with evil we should be able to display to others all the aspects of our G-d. We should be able to show even the worst of men the love and mercy that G-d has given onto us. And with an honest heart and compassionate tongue, we should be able to convey G-d's anger when we find evil amongst our own. 

Yet far to often these aspects of being "amongst the righteous" are lost. And at times it feels more like we are nothing more than jackals rather than lions. At times we are more prone to cannibalism rather than accountability. And more tragically, we often find ourselves with far less a compassionate heart for the sinner and more apt to anger for the sin itself. 

In the end however I would wish it could be said of me, and those I love, that we were as lions when confronted with evil. That we stood before our enemy and bore our claws and showed our teeth not for our own salvation but so that others might live.