Nisayon

Our Trial By Fire

נִסָּיוֹן

When people think of the mythical phoenix they often only imagine the portion of the story where the magnificent creature spreads its wings and rises from the ashes. This story of rebirth is uplifting and helps us to imagine ourselves as being able to lift ourselves out of the circumstances life brings our way. But what do we get from these stories while we are falling off our pedestals and crashing into the flames below?

Then satan answered the J-hovah, and said, "Does Job revere El-him for nothing?"

~ The Book of Job 1:9

In the midst of a trial (nisayon) we often find ourselves a bit dazed by the experience from which we should be learning. When put to the flame we turn up our own defenses and prepare to bunker down for the duration. Yet throughout the trial of Job there was a remarkable difference in his reaction to the suffering that was poured out upon him. Job didn't turn to his own resources or strength. He didn't simply wait for the trial to pass him by. Job took the opportunity to seek out the L-rd and went to prayer when many would have run away. 

As the unprovoked attacks continued the servant of G-d took to the power of prayer. But why? 

Prayer is an odd thing in our modern world. We think of it in a passive sense. As though we are simply telling G-d what to do and somehow He will listen and grant our wish. It is in this that we approach prayer as a tool to gain what we feel we are entitled to. Yet any blessings we receive are from G-d's grace and not of our own merit. So perhaps this is why we think of prayer as ineffective during times of adversity. 

When we seek G-d during these times we should first realize that we ourselves do not know why we are suffering. We must lean upon G-d for the strength to endure our pain and the understanding so that we might learn from it. That is why we pray during these times. It is with this passion that we seek G-d in our suffering so that He might lead us and guide us. 

Yet man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward. I would seek G-d, and to G-d would I commit my cause.

~ The Book of Job 5:7-8

We are promised that when we seek G-d with all our heart and soul that He will show Himself to us. In our darkest hours His presence can be brought like a burning fire into our lives so that through us He may illuminate the darkness. Yet this can only be achieved if we pray diligently for G-d to work in our lives and to lift us up and restore us. It is with this approach to prayer that we dedicate our purpose in life to the glorification of G-d rather than that of ourselves. 

So why does G-d let us suffer in the first place? Why not just allow us to learn from the joy of His love? 

How often in your life do you think of G-d when things are just consistently good? How often do you truly seek after the L-rd when you have everything you want and are pacified by the numerous blessings He has bestowed upon you? Chances are that you and I don't really seek the L-rd like we should when conditions are at their best. We simply enjoy the blessings that the L-rd has given us and somewhat selfishly become accustomed to them. 

G-d doesn't revoke His blessings to get us to turn back to Him. Though G-d is a jealous G-d, and desires our attention more than we will ever know, He doesn't need to punish us into servitude. This is a cheap excuse we tell ourselves to elude the fact that we need G-d. It is our way of elevating ourselves while diminishing the nature of G-d. 

In reality G-d allows suffering in our lives so that we might learn how to better know H-m. These trails we face in life are meant to draw us closer to H-m in ways that can't always be shown to us through the pleasurable parts of life. Without suffering we would only see one side of G-d. It is through the trials that we get a glimpse at the entirety of G-d's love for us.We learn what it means to love by H-s mercy, H-s grace, H-s compassion. None of which would be made evident to us through simply giving us everything we desire. 

Most importantly, G-d allows pain and suffering in our lives so that we might learn and grow in H-m. If we were spared the trials of life we would never be able to fulfill the great destinies that G-d created us for. Without the nisayon (trial) we would be left ill-equipped for the path that G-d has laid out before us. It is through this trial by fire that G-d makes it possible for us to rise up from the ashes like the majestic phoenix. 

For I know that my Haggo'el (Redeemer) lives, and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth.

~ The Book of Job 19:25

If you are going through a trial in your life know that your Haggo'el lives. Know that despite the pain that your G-d loves you with an unending passion.